Ramadan Kareem

It's the middle of Eid al Fitr now, the three day celebration of the end of Ramadan. We moved to Abu Dhabi just as Ramadan started, so we really don't know the city any other way and I really don't know if some of these impressions I have are Ramadan-specific or just par for the UAE course, but here are my thoughts of the past month.

Ramadan is a month-long Muslim holiday most notable for the fact that almost everyone fasts between sun-up and sun-down. So this year here it's about 5:30 a.m. to 7:15 p.m. But the sunrise and sunset times are different even between Abu Dhabi and Dubai and each city has its own official suhour (breakfast) and iftar (dinner) timings. They shoot off a cannon at the big mosques to signal time to break the fast which people traditionally do with some dates and water. So in the evenings, at shops or grocery stores or gas stations there will be dates and water available for people. But during the day, most restaurants are closed and there is no eating or drinking allowed in public. It used to be even more strict, but now, in some of the biggest malls, for instance, the food court has large screens put up around it and non-muslims can eat freely within the screened off area. The little cafe in the bottom of our building closed off its outdoor seating and put paper over the windows so people can't see in, but they were serving food as usual. It is illegal to eat in your car, though, it is still considered in public. Fasters don't even drink water. And with Ramadan occurring during summer this year, it would be hard to stay hydrated.

I am amazed at how the whole city changes operations for this. Not only are most eating establishments closed during the day, but so are many businesses and even government offices. Then they open up late, after the iftar, and stay open until 2 a.m.

Jason and I decided to try fasting, to understand the culture better and just to try it. I made it through the first 10 days on a "Pamadan" fast because I just had regular breakfast with the family instead of super early suhour. So a couple hours shorter fast each day.  But it was really good, the most successful fasting I have ever done. A big reason it was easier, I think, is because the whole culture is doing or at least expected to acknowlege and respect the fast. Restaurants are closed when we are out so swinging through the drive through just really isn't an easy option. And it is a total fast: no water, no beverages, no broth, nothing by mouth until sunset. My legalistic heart loves that lack of gray area. I was able to pray more, which was also a goal. We were still super busy (we moved to AD the first week of Ramadan) and the kids still needed to eat so I didn't get to stop and pray as much as I hoped, but there were definitely many more small gasps of prayer as the hunger would remind me.

We were invited to a couple of iftar celebrations. The first was with a group of homeschooling families we have gotten to know. The Muslim moms in the group made a huge potluck style dinner and sang some Ramadan songs in Arabic and read "It's Ramadan, Curious George!" for us. That was so generous and interesting although my kids ran off to play at a park with their new friends and missed most of it right up until one older boy was doing the "Call to Eat". Jason's work also had his whole team and families to an iftar in a tent in Dubai that serves 1000 people each night. There were multiple buffet lines including a dessert bar where the kids had a ton of fun eating liquid nitrogen fruit juices pellets.

The screens around the food court.

We also took in a couple of buffet "iftars" for dinner at regular restaurants, especially while we were still living in the hotel. I did that totally wrong the first few times. After fasting all day I hit that buffet hard and I tried everything and ate and ate and kept eating until it was actually painful. I haven't felt that awful even after my worst Thanksgiving. So, lesson learned: break the fast slowly with the dates and water, then don't over eat. It's not worth the agony.

Ramadan didn't really affect our kids. They couldn't eat as constantly as usual, and they mostly just stopped asking for snacks or drinks while we were out but that just meant that they would have a wait a bit until we got home if they wanted something. They're all big enough now that it wasn't a huge deal. They did enjoy the extra days Dad got off work for Eid and the iftars were a big hit. Also, I guess Tang is kindof a traditional Ramadan drink. So there were deals abounding on Tang (so many flavors we had never tried!) and also Nutella so of course we stocked up and they have loved that.

Ramadan is not just fasting from food though. Muslims also fast from smoking and intimacy and music during this time. There are emphases on prayer and generosity and reading the Quaran as well. The point of all this self-denial is to draw closer to Allah. And there is a big emphasis on the family, eating together, teaching children, celebrating with extended family.  Our kids were worried about the music fast, especially since we got our shipment with guitars and the piano early in the month, but it really wasn't a big deal at all. We have really only noticed the lack of background and elevator music now that Ramadan has ended and the music is back.

Additional thoughts/observances:

The timing of Ramadan is based on the Lunar calendar and the moon sighting, so even two days before it started there was not yet an official start date. Same with the ending. People are 80% sure of the day, but it is dependent on an official sighting of the moon. The theme of light is a symbol of the holiday, with the crescent moon and lanterns being popular decor.

Communion during Ramadan was an especially holy experience. I was extra aware of the symbolism of it and the grace that we celebrate there. 

Arabic food is mostly pretty good. Especially the desserts. Not so much harissa (wheat and meat mush) or laban (yogurt drink).

The Mosques put on free iftars (especially for the laborers here) and it is amazing to see hundreds of men all walking quickly to the mosque and the giant air-conditioned tents that are erected around them, every evening about an hour before sundown or queing to receive iftar boxes. People throughout the city put out Ramadan Fridges which volunteers stock with food and drink for the laborers all month. And it's a good idea to have bottled waters and snacks on hand to give people who are delivering furniture or connecting internet to eat after sundown.

Muslims develop amazing self-control. Especially the women who are organizing and preparing large suhours and iftars all month and feeding young children but not eating themselves during the day.

All in all, our first experience of the holy month of Ramadan was fascinating. To see the whole country come together for a month, to see no separation between the religion of the country and the government, to see the generosity and striving of the people to grow in positive character traits, to recognize the celebration of faith and family as a common blessing was all really interesting and beautiful. We learned a lot and I feel like we are finally not completely offensive in our learning and missteps.