It's 2018 Peeps

So, it is 2018.  Many thought the world would end in 2000.  I am 40.  Pam is ...well gentlemen don't tell.  I've been thinking a lot about the future while we have been here.  I wish I could say that I know what the Lord is calling us to when our time here is over, but I honestly don't know.  Speaking of honesty, I'm actually kinda worn out from my own discontentment.  It is a sin surely - a lingering mid-life crisis that won't let up.  I don't think of myself as 40.  I've held a job since I was 10 years old (started with a paper route) - graduating to fast food at 14, and even holding three jobs working 70 or so hours a week the 2 summers prior to graduating high school and heading to college.  During college I even worked every Christmas break between semesters.  I'm tired.  I mentioned to Pam that I have no idea where I got my energy in our early marriage.  Our first house was a complete lemon, and in a span of something like 3 years after buying our house while averaging 50 hours a week working during which time three children were born (the first, Micah, died when he was 2 months old), I found the time to fix up a rotted/leaning garage, redo the back yard landscaping including a low retaining wall which ran along one side of the yard, cut down a large tree damaged by a storm, paint the interior of the new house, repair a room damaged by termites, build and install modular shelving in a storage room, re-plumb the upstairs bathroom drainage and repair a leaky shower, install a new closet to hide the new plumbing in the downstairs bathroom, remodel the kitchen including building my own cabinets, redoing the electrical, and installing new sub-floor, windows, insulation, and drywall (it was gutted to the studs).   I could keep bringing things up because there was so much done those first three years.  We even volunteered as leaders of a young married couples Bible Study at the church we attended, and often lead/hosted a weekly study in our home during those years (or attended one lead/hosted by someone else).  So I asked Pam - "How on earth did we get all that done???"  She reminded me that I used my vacation time.  Lol - yep, I don't know that I used any vacation time for vacation those first three years!  We also got excellent help from family and friends along the way, of course.  But the point is that early I worked very very hard to make sure my family would be financially secure.  By God's grace I've more or less accomplished this at this point, and I'm only 40 - so what now?  We are on track to put the kids through college, and Ben will be entering college just 8 short years from now.  Realistically we could do what ever we want just 4-6 years from now.  I could work for minimum wage and we would be fine, so would our children.

So...how to Glorify God with Act 2 - the empty nest years?  I've thought about starting a business, for many reasons I like this idea but I'll save it for another blog post.  I've thought about attending seminary to become an evangelical pastor.  I've thought about climbing the corporate ladder at Rockwell as far as my talents and abilities would allow while giving away my income.  I've thought about scratching out my remaining corporate years just doing a job I enjoy and trying to keep work to 40-45 hours a week while doing ministry in our local church.  Who knows, I just continue to keep all options open while praying for clarity and contentment.  I've still got time to make this decision, but I know this time will go fast so I'm praying and thinking about it now.  God has been good to us in Abu Dhabi, allowing us rest while thinking about how we will spend the second half of our brief life.

I ask Pam what she wants to do, and I think she is more or less willing to go along with what ever I decide, which adds to the pressure I feel because I derive a lot of pleasure and meaning from the happiness of my wife and children.  Because I know Pam feels the same way about me, she has focused on one idea we have discussed many times - getting a house on a lake in northern Minnesota while I telecommute for work.  I could enjoy hiking and fishing on that lake before getting too old to do such things, and I could enjoy these things which I love so much with family and friends who would come visit us.  However I can't get over the conviction that this is driven largely by my own selfishness, and would not really be a decision made for God's glory.  Certainly we would be involved in a local church supporting the ministry of the gospel however God leads, but seems like there should be more to such a big decision like where we will live.  After all, the Bible seems to give so much attention to PLACE.  Places are named and have significance.  Events happen at places.  Places are known for a certain culture.  Places have specific people who live there.  Places evoke memories, life lessons, and emotions.  We have labored in Gospel ministry for many years AT Northbrook Baptist Church.  We love the saints there.  I have worked AT Rockell Collins for 17+ years and enjoyed my work and coworkers.  We have owned 2 homes, one IN Cedar Rapids, and one IN Marion with the latter being the only home our kids really know.  Pam KNOWS the home school people, places, and culture there really well.  All 5 of our children were born AT St. Luke's hospital IN Cedar Rapids, and one of them is buried AT Cedar Memorial IN Cedar Rapids.  I have lived IN Cedar Rapids longer than I have lived any other place.  But still there is something inside me saying Cedar Rapids is not "my" place.  But just typing that makes me feel terrible and ungrateful because of all the memories of things God has done for me and my family at this place, Cedar Rapids, not to mention the people we love who live there.

Anyway, I've rambled long enough.  Glorify God while you can where ever you find yourself in 2018, which is really the main point isn't it.  This life is so so so short - may none of us waste it.

Happy 2018 from Abu Dhabi, the PLACE God has us in 2018.  God's peace (contentment) to you all. :)